PNN Transcript of the Williams Sector
Guests: Krant
Originally Broadcast August 8, 2403, Stardate 81601.54
Main Studio [CCV William Randolph Hearst CIC-45841]
This is a moderate-sized filming studio fitted into what appears to have been a holosuite. An array of lighting, sound, and holovideo recording equipment are positioned here for recording broadcasts. The default yellow grid is visible from the backstage angle, although the camera view is a stylish news anchor desk in front of a lovely space backdrop.
You see Camera here.
Vice-President Krant is here.
Obvious exits:
[ Out ]
A trashy latinum investment services advertisement plays during the commercial break, followed by a network bumper ad, "Coming up next on the Williams Sector, Riley Williams interviews Intergalactic Bank Vice President Krant, a former contender for GA Chancellor and former head of the FCA."
You have accessed 'Williams Sector'.
The yellow grid shimmers and disappears as the program is loaded.
The program loads before you....
The Williams Factor - Live [Planetary News Network]
Visible on the screen is a moderate-sized newsroom studio, prominently featuring a stylish news anchor desk bearing the Planetary News Network and Williams Sector logos. There is a smaller table with seats for guests to the side. In the backdrop is an artificial top-down view of an arm of the galaxy.
The broadcast opens with the Planetary News Network logo above the tag line, "Impartial and Even." This shows for a few moments before the view shifts to the image of a news studio. At the center desk sits a middle-aged Terran male with a lean but sufficiently tall frame for a reasonably intimidating appearance. His face, bearing very Irish features such as his green eyes, clearly is used for expressions of joy and great hysterics, feigned or real, as evidenced by laugh and frown lines. His head sports a gray comb-over of moderate density and he wears a sharp business suit.
The man speaks, "Good evening, I'm Riley Williams. For our first guest tonight, we have with us in the studio Intergalactic Bank Vice President Krant. Krant formerly was head of the Ferengi Commerce Authority and also sought the position of Chancellor of the Galaxy Alliance in the last election, coming in third after Dr. L'vralus and Kai Lishan." He turns to face his guest, "Krant, good to have you with us this evening. Welcome to the no-orbit field."
The absolutely hideous looking Ferengi smiles, showing his sharp teeth, which only momentarily distract from his absolutely colossal wrinkled ears. "Thank you for having me, Mr. Williams. By the way, congratulations for a profitable show and network. I hear you're making the Intergalactic Newswire and other media sources very sad."
Williams allows himself to smirk for a moment, happy to have someone do his gloating for him, but soon resumes a more practiced media face. He remarks, "I think our viewers know where to turn for the best when they want the news impartial and even rather than distorted." A beat. "Now Krant, tell me, everybody's asking, now that L'vralus is out of the way, and the Kai doesn't appear to be running this time, are you planning to declare your candidacy for Chancellor?"
Krant laughs heartilly, "Then I think I need to remind everybody of the 190th Rule of Acquisition--Hear all, trust NOTHING! Frankly, I no longer have any interest in such an unprofitable position. The Galaxy Alliance itself is quite unprofitable these days, too."
Williams raises a brow in mock surprise, "Bold statement there, Krant--you're saying the Galaxy Alliance is UN. PROFITABLE. Now, we all know the Alliance's fiscal policy has gone to Gre'thor long ago, but I can see you believe it really far gone, don't you?"
Krant nods. "Rule 95 says to Expand or die, but expansion doesn't guaruntee living. The Galaxy Alliance has outgrown its ability to function any more, and in the economic interests of all involved needs to dissolve."
Williams nods as he listens, "So you're saying that Beerax and Bajor and other worlds, AND the remainder of the Alliance would ALL benefit if they parted ways?"
"Yes, Riley." Krant responds in a condescending tone, "You hyoo-mans are so slow sometimes."
Williams frowns and raises his voice, now done throwing softball questions, "Profit or not, what gives these worlds the the right to leave? Isn't one of your Rules of Acquisition that a 'Contract is a Contract is a Contract'?"
Krant looks directly at the camera and gestures back at Riley, "See what I was saying? SLOW." Turning back to Riley, he explains, "You clearly didn't learn the whole thing, Riley. Rule number 17 reads, 'A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.' The Alliance has already violated its end of the contract to its member worlds anyway."
Williams frowns, but looks like he got a signal from one of his producers, "I'm sorry to cut you off for the moment but it's time for a break. Stay tuned--we'll be taking your calls when we get back!"
A bunch of horrible, HORRIBLE ads run by during the commercial break. The ad for Nazri Geb's Greatest Hits collection was at least tolerable until the salesman wouldn't shut up.
A network bumper runs, promoting an upcoming documentary alleging the new Chancellor Talia has xenophobic tendencies towards Klingons.
The broadcast resumes with the Planetary News Network logo above the tag line, "Impartial and Even." This shows for a few moments before the view shifts back to the image of the news studio. At the center desk, Riley Williams fiddles with his PADD, reading over incoming questions, before the intro music subsides and he looks to the camera. "Welcome back to the Williams Sector. For those just joining us, we have with us Intergalactic Bank Vice President Krant, and we'll now be taking viewer questions. First we have the question from an anonymous Starfleet officer, 'Where would the dissolution leave Starfleet, and what if any role would it play afterwards?'"
Krant smirks, "You know, I don't mind Starfleet. Now I know a lot of you will say, 'Krant, how can Starfleet be good for business? All they know how to do is spend money on new big starships?' Rule 34 says that War is Good for business--and let me tell you, Starfleet is good at war! Just look at their skilled piloting into Tzenkethi space. So I say Starfleet is good for war and thus good for business. As to what happens specifically with dissolution? I don't really care so long as the Ferengi aren't paying for it."
Krant adds, "Or more importanly, so long as I'M not paying for it!" He chuckles heartily.
Williams frowns a little, "I would grill you on that answer, but I think just for that you've earned an inane question. A teenager from Earth asks, 'boxers or briefs?'"
Krant rolls his eyes, "No wonder you Hyoo-mans have terrible economic practices. You waste your money on silly things like undergarments. I go, as you say, 'commando'."
Williams can't help but smirk at the response, though his journalistic training keeps him from laughing aloud. "Well, our next question is from an enterprising individual who managed to sneak in TWO questions in the same form, so for that I'll read them even though they're not as serious as some upcoming ones. 'How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?' and 'Missionary, or...?"
Krant smirks. "More Hyooman questions, clearly." He replies rather matter-of-factly, "First, a woodchuck can't chuck wood. He should go seek Latinum instead. Rule 102, Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. Secondly, I prefer to have the female behind me. She can reach my lobes better."
Williams just shakes his head at the replies, grinning. Composing himself, he asks, "Okay, back to some serious questions. A Starfleet Commander who wishes to remain anonymous asks, 'With the ecomonic situation as it is, how will the GA be able to afford funding Starfleet and paying it's people? Skull Fleet left because of no pay, so what makes you believe others won't follow suit?'"
Krant says, "Skull Fleet clearly learned rule 109, Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. Looking at the published figures in the Galaxy Alliance budget, it's horribly unsustainable. I have no idea how they'll pay Starfleet, but if unprofitable worlds leave, that will at least free up SOME money. Maybe that new Admiral in charge of Logistics can help Starfleet pay for itself."
Williams looks rather excited, "Ah, one of your own! Ferengi Renkek Kashaan points out: 'Actually Rule 34 is Peace is Good for Business, Rule 35 is War is good for Business... but question "How would this improve the economic crisis we're facing. If everything's dissolved Alliance wise, why would worlds /want/ to trade with their former alliance partners, it'd make trading more difficult, would it not? and likely not as profitable as it might seem at the moment?"'"
Krant says, "He's quite right. Both war and peace are good for business. If there are more different independent states to trade with, there will be more different states both in war and at peace, making it all better for business. As to trading with former alliance partners, that might become slightly more difficult, but I think it would ease trading with other parties such as the Romulans, the Cardassians, and even the Kzinti. No more pesky Alliance embargos to worry about!"
Williams follows up on that one, "The Kzinti? The Embargo has been going on for centuries. They were forcibly disarmed long ago and their technology is even further behind than the Talarians. What could they possible have to trade of value?"
Krant laughs, "I bet your boss Mirdok whispered that one into your earpiece. As he well knows, Rule 74 tells us, Knowledge Equals Profit. Mirdok, you've got enough profit with your silly media properties. This one I'm holding onto myself."
Williams looks rather nervous at the mention of his employer Mirdok, the owner of PNN. "Since you're our only guest this evening, we have time for a few more questions. 'With the several mentions of the Alliance no longer being profitable, particularly not wanting to use Ferengi money, do you believe Ferenginar will also be seeking departure from the Galaxy Alliance?'"
Krant says, "That's up to the shareholders of Ferenginar, but that too might be quite profitable. Though as I said, we reserve the right to leave at any time, with or without the support of the High Council, for a contract is only a contract between Ferengi."
Williams gains a knowing smile, "Well, it looks like someone finally asked the billion credit question. What a perfect way to end our show. Krant, 'If time is money, and profit is the goal above all, and you're not being paid to be on the show, what are you doing there?'"
Krant grins wickedly for a moment, "Good of you to finally ask a question that didn't come from a Hyoo-man. I'm here to advocate for the best interests of the Galactic Economy, because what's good for your economy is good for my money. I know some of you will call that 'selfish' but deep down you know I'm right. That's why despite Ferengi being horribly unpopular amongst Hyoo-mans, I got a considerable number of votes from them when I ran for Chancellor. But most of all, I'm pleased to be here tonight to announce my intention of reviving the esteemed post of Grand Nagus."
Williams nods. "Good luck with that, Krant. I'm afraid that's all we have time for tonight! Thanks for joining us in the No-Orbit zone!"
